Episode VIII - A Cup of Tea

Kerring ushered them through the shop, past the strangest collection of objects Ellis had yet seen in Shadow (including suits of armour fitted with clockwork and pipes and an entire case filled with beakers, each containing liquids glowing violent shades of pink, purple, green and blue) and into a small sitting room. The wallpaper, decorated with green and pink floral patterns, was peeling off the wall and there were a great many scratch marks in the plaster and on the woodwork. Furniture and other detritus lay in piles around the room and there was an all-pervading smell of cat urine.

Kerring stepped over several indiscriminate heaps with surprising grace and then gestured vaguely to a set of chairs dispersed among the debris. “Go on then, sit yerselves down an’ I’ll see to getting’ you all some tea.” He disappeared into the kitchen, leaving his three guests to fend for themselves.

            The chairs were in various states of decay and very few of them were even upright.  Ellis dragged one up from its repose on the floor only to discover some liquid running out from its interior.  He quickly chose another.

            “Well,” Siren said as she placed herself delicately on the only seat that looked like it might ever have been clean, “this is nice.  Are all your friends like this, Franck?”

            “Oh my goodness, no!  No, you mustn’t think that for a minute, my dear.  That would be quite incorrect.  No, no, no – most of them are dead!”

            “If they lived like this…” Siren began, but then seemed to think better of finishing her sentence or perhaps decided that it had already conveyed its intended meaning well enough.

            “How well do you know this man?” Ellis asked.

            “Oh, we’ve been friends for years.  I remember when he was just a boy, running about in the streets with hoops and sticks, playing fetch the brick with the stray dogs by the shore, making the girls cry, that sort of thing.  Then he developed an interest in Hypostatick Philosophy and I was a kind of mentor to him.  He used to steal my notes, he was that eager to learn!  Oh the times we used to have, ‘No, Valter, don’t use the aetherised gas as a flamethrower’, I used to say, or ‘you shouldn’t turn rats into hand grenades’, but he would try it anyway and it always worked.  He had a genius for that sort of thing really.”

            “He seems pretty unfriendly,” Ellis added.

            “Oh, that’s just business!  He has to make sure that his investments are worth investing in, after all.”

            “No, I mean he didn’t sound like he was your friend at all, not until you mentioned me, at least.”

            “Well, I suppose we did drift apart.  I was kicked out of the chateau, he started his own business empire.  You could say we moved in different circles.  But the bonds of the past remain strong!”

            “That’s great, Franck,” said Siren, with a forced grin on her face, “hopefully that means you’ll be able to do whatever you’re here to do quickly and efficiently and we’ll be on our way in no time.”

            “There’s no need to rush with friends, after all-”

            “We’ll be on our way in no time, right?” The grin was fast becoming gritted teeth.

            “Oh, yes,” replied the Former Baron, startled and perhaps a little frightened, “yes, of course.  Well if you have somewhere you need to be I’m sure that Kerring would be more than happy to oblige as quickly as he can.”

            Suddenly the room seemed even smaller, darker and more unpleasant than it had been a moment before.  “What is it I’m gonna oblige ya with?”  Kerring said as he entered the room carrying a tray of mugs and a teapot.  A fat grey cat with eyes as wild as its owner was rubbing against his legs and purring loudly, blocking his path.  He swept it aside with a chubby foot and a muttered curse, causing the cat to yowl and run to the other side of the room, where it began clawing away at an antique chest.

            “Bloody Grimblegaw!  That’s your fault, that is, Von Spektr.  I ‘ad ‘im asleep, nice ‘an quiet ‘til you started knockin’ on me bleedin’ door at ‘oo knows what ‘our.”  He placed the tray on a table and began pouring out drinks, handing a cup to Ellis first, then Siren.  Ellis was amazed to discover that it looked considerably more drinkable than that given to him in Tentacle Lane.

            “There ya are!  Drink up!  Enjoy yerselves!  There’s nothin’ like a good cuppa!”  He took a mug of his own and then sank into a dilapidated chaise longe that had been hiding beneath a pile of paper and refuse.  “So,” he said, turning his full attention onto Ellis, “you come from another world, then?  ‘Ow’d that ‘appen?”

            “It was… something of an accident,” Ellis replied.

            “Nonsense!”

            All heads turned to face the Former Baron.  He was looking more excited than usual.

            “Well, it was an accident, wasn’t it?”  Ellis asked, a little perturbed by the outburst.

            “Weren’t you paying attention to me earlier, Elmo, my boy?  What did I say about the ring?”

            Ellis could see both Kerring and Siren suddenly looking a lot more interested.

            “You said it had a soul.”

            “And what did I say about that soul, specifically in regard to how you got here?”

            “You said… you said it might be the reason that I’m here.”

            “Does that sound like an accident to you?”

            Kerring chose this moment to interrupt, “So, you’ve found a ring charged with ‘ypostatick energy, ‘ave ya?  An’ ya think this ‘olds the secret to the great trans-aetherick transportation conundrum?  Well that really is somethin’, ain’t it?”  Ellis though that Kerring’s smile was more of a sneer than anything else.  “‘Ave ya got the ring with ya, right now, like?”

            “My apologies, Kerring, my friend,” the shopkeeper’s mouth twitched, “but it’s still in my laboratory back at the chateau.  Really, I’m just here to source a few parts for a new machine to aid in communication with the soul inside it.”

            “That’s a shame.  I would’ve really liked to see it.”  He stretched and tried to brighten his smile a little more.  Ellis felt increasingly uncomfortable, but sipped at his tea in silence.  “So, what parts where ya lookin’ for, in particular?”

            “Well I was wondering if I could have a wander around the shop and see if I could spot anything that might do the trick.  I won’t really know until I see them, you see.”

            “Ah, yes, of course.  You always were part artist magician, part scientist.  As ya know, I always preferred the cold ‘ard applications.”

            “And I suppose that is why you have a shop and I have endless work to be getting on with at home.  Can I look for the parts?”

            “Be my guest.”

            Ellis couldn’t help but think that there was a trace of menace in the way Kerring was speaking now, but the Former Baron didn’t seem to notice it.  Instead, he leapt to his feet and made his way out into the shop.

            “Oh, this is marvellous, Kerring, really outstanding!” he called back, “Your stock has improved at least tenfold since I last visited.”

            “Well it ‘as been a long time, Franck, a very long time indeed.”

            “And such exquisite pieces too.  I mean the quality of the carving on this Grünwald Dynasty chalice is exceptional!”

            “I only source the best.”

            “You know, it reminds me of the one I saw in that article in the Chronicle.  The Duchess of Hymbart reported one missing.  Worth a fortune, apparently.”

            “Yeah,” Kerring called back, “they must be pretty rare.”

            “And yet here you are, selling one.  It’s really quite remarkable.”

            Ellis took another sip of his tea.  He really didn’t like the way the visit was going.  Kerring was clearly lying through his teeth half the time and it was obvious that he couldn’t stand Von Spektr.  He could only hope that they would round up their business and be leaving soon.

            He glanced over at the Siren.  She was staring into the depths of her mug as if it held some great secret.

            “It’s not the ocean,” he said, trying to lighten the atmosphere a little, “you don’t have to explore all its mysteries.”

            She raised her head slowly, drunkenly and her eyes took a moment to focus on him.

            “Looks like the girl ‘asn’t ‘ad enough sleep,” Kerring laughed.  It was a low dirty rumble.

            “Oh yes,” came the Former Baron’s voice, “we’ve none of us really had any proper sleep.  I’m starting to feel quite tired myself.”

            Ellis looked back at Siren.  She was having trouble staying in her seat, swaying left and right and ready to ditch to the floor.  Then suddenly he found it hard to focus on her properly.  He glanced down at the tea, even as his vision blurred.

            “There’s a lot of folks ‘oo’ll want to ‘ave a look at you, lad,” Kerring was saying in a voice that was beginning to echo slightly, “a lot of folks indeed.  They’ll want to perform experiments an’ ask a lot of questions too, I imagine.  Not all that pleasant, most likely.  But they’ll be willing to pay ever so much for the privilege, don’t ya think?”  His smile, fractured in Ellis’ vision as it was, suddenly looked the most honest it had ever been.  It was the smile of a greedy old man.

            A sudden wave of dizziness washed over Ellis.  The floor lurched upwards and then everything faded away to darkness and a dreamy sense of unease.

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