Episode XLVI - Constructive Argument

            “Wait,” Siren said into the ensuing silence, “what?  Did I just hear you correctly? What… what does that mean?”

She stared at Ellis lying on the bed, lost in fever dreams and at the stout Doctor stroking his chin, deep in thought.  Nothing seemed to be making sense to her.  It felt like the world was spinning and yet, at the same time, deadly, solidly still.  "What are you saying, Doctor?"

"I think Siren is posing a very good question," the Former Baron interjected before she could get any more worked up, "perhaps you and the wonderful Miss Barkcastle here could enlighten us as to what you were just talking about, so that we might better understand your pronouncement."

"It's quite simple, really," Doctor Gristfinkel replied shortly, "I was taking readings of the boy's hypostatick energies and  they were coming out all wrong - more wrong that I might have expected even for someone who came from the other world as you claim, so I applied a soul leech and it did not feed."

"Are you sure it's not unwell?" Franck asked.  "I had a pet Rustweasel once that wouldn't feed and that turned out to be because it had caught a bad case of Ottaman's Degenerative Unlife from the Zombies my father was keeping - for experimental purposes you understand - in the basement.  Could the leech be turning undead?  They do have a lot in common with vampires, after all."

"No," Gristfinkel replied impatiently, "it could not."

"Then what else could cause it?" Siren asked, feeling fear beginning to rise above the confusion.

"The only reasonable explanation," Gristfinkel continued, "is that Ellis' hypostatick energies are not natural.  As I said; he is not human."

“And you are absolutely certain that these anomalies cannot be accounted for by the fact the boy comes from another world and has recently undergone a series of trans-aetherick shifts?” asked Franck, dry-washing his hands nervously, “I myself recorded his hypostatick energy readings not long after I first met him and all anomalies I encountered could be explained in that fashion.”

“I do not think his ‘other-worldliness can explain my inability to recreate the Bulowa reaction,” Grisfinkel retorted.  “Soul Leeches are picky, yes, but not that picky.  I suggest you re-examine your recordings, if you still have any of them.”

“I do!” Franck replied,  “It’s in my laboratory.  I’ll fetch it at once!”

As the Former Baron rushed out of the room, Siren turned back to the Doctor.  She did not want to accept what he was saying – could not understand how any of it could be true – and yet, she felt she had one question she had to ask.

“If he’s not human, then what is he?”

“I do not know,” replied the Doctor. “Although it is clear that he greatly resembles one, I am sure his hypostatick energy – his very soul – is artificial.  He is, I suppose, a sort of biologickal and hypostatickal construct.”

It felt like something precious had shattered, like a great weight had fallen on top of the world, like a shadow had been cast over the sun.  Siren felt dizzy, weak, cold, clammy.  She fought to control herself, but she was shaking.

“Are you alright, my dear?” Miss Barkcastle asked, taking a step closer to the night-gowned pirate.

Siren wanted to answer, to say that she was ‘fine, really’ but instead her lip quivered and as Miss Barkcastle swooped towards her, arms suddenly out wide and waiting, she fell into her embrace and hid her face in the older woman’s shoulder.

“Don’t you worry, Siren, my dear,” Miss Barkcastle said softly, “we’ll figure this all out, I’m sure of it.”

“Let’s wait and see what the Former Baron has to say once ‘e’s ‘ad a look at ‘is stuff, eh?” Gulliver said, trying to sound cheery, which was not a terribly strong strategy for him to take.

“In the meantime,” Felicity added, leaning over Siren’s shaking shoulders and looking pointedly at the doctor, “perhaps you could work out what is wrong with him, rather than just speculate on the nature of his being?  You are here for diagnosis, after all, not ontological argument?”

“Yes, yes of course,” Doctor Grisfinkel replied, “I’ll continue my investigations then.”

“Then Siren and I will go downstairs and find some nice comfy chairs and a bigger pot of tea and wait for some more news, then,” she spoke into Siren’s ear, “what do you think, my dear?”  Siren raised her head and nodded mutely.  “Very well,” Miss Barkcastle confirmed, “we’ll be downstairs if you need us, doctor.  Gulliver, perhaps you can go help Franck in the laboratory?  He’s terrible at finding things, especially when he’s flustered.”

Gulliver nodded and followed Siren and Miss Barkcastle out of the small room, leaving the doctor and Ellis alone.  Siren watched him out of the corner of her eye as she was led down the stairs.  His expression was difficult to read, although it was clear that he was deep in thought.  As Miss Barkcastle led her off to the dining room, he very nearly followed automatically.

“The laboratory’s that way,” Felicity directed him gently, “tell Franck we’re in here, won’t you, dear?”

Again Gulliver nodded before vanishing down the corridor.  Siren wondered what was going through his mind.  Perhaps it wasn’t that dissimilar to her own confusion.  How can Ellis not be real?, she wondered, he… he tasted real enough last night.  She remembered the kiss on the landing and her confusion only deepened.  She couldn’t deny that it had been good, that it had been what she had wanted in that moment, but it had brought so many new attachments, things which bound her to the shore and kept her from her ocean freedom.  Now that Ellis might not be human, she was even more lost.  What do I even feel for him?  She hated not being able to answer her own questions.

“Now, Siren, my dear,” Miss Barkcastle was saying as she directed her to a large, well padded chair in a corner of the dining room which was somehow more book encrusted than most, “you just sit down there and I’ll make you some tea and-”

“Actually, Miss Barkcastle-”

“Do call me Felicty, dear.”

“Okay, Felicity,” Siren swallowed, “I’d really rather not have tea right now.  Perhaps… perhaps we could just talk.”

“Of course my dear,” Felicity responded, immediately finding a nearby chair and drawing it over, “and what might you like to talk about then?”

“I’d just like to talk about Ellis,” Siren replied uncertainly, “about how he makes me feel and… about how we kissed last night.”

“Oh,” Miss Barkcastle said, “Oh my.  Well then, yes, let’s talk.”

Gulliver stumbled down the stairs into the basement laboratory to find the Former Baron frantically rooting through papers and pulling at his hair.

“It has to be around here somewhere," the old man was shouting desperately, "it has to be!”  He was practically screaming at himself.

Gulliver had never seen him so frustrated, nor the laboratory in so much chaos.  Papers lay strewn all about the room, filing cabinets lay dented and overturned and a lone Bunsen burner had tipped and was only narrowly avoiding setting fire to a huge pile of paperwork by the fact that it was being restrained by its own gas cable.  Gulliver quickly righted it as he passed.

“Is there anythin’ I can ‘elp with, Von Spektr?”

“What?” the Former Baron asked, whirling around to reveal the full extent of his harrowed, dishevelled appearance.   Paler than usual, he looked tired and worn thin, his eyes gleaming with something other than madness.  As soon as he saw Gulliver he tried to puff himself up, tried to look his usual nonchalant self, but then he just seemed to deflate, his shoulders slumped.  “I’m sorry Gulliver, my lad, I don’t know what I’m doing.  I’m sure I kept those readouts from Ellis’ hypostatickal examination – for goodness’ sake it was less than two weeks ago – but I just can’t seem to find it.”

Gulliver winced.  The Former Baron’s sudden, bald, simple honesty was appalling.  Where was the flamboyant, mad Philosopher?  Where the insane genius?  Instead there was just a frail, confused old man.  It was more frightening than Gulliver could have anticipated.

“Well, ‘ave you checked absolutely everywhere?”  Gulliver asked, trying to hide his own fears, “per’aps if we work our way around the room methodically, like, we might find somethin’?  Two sets of eyes ‘as to be better than one, right?”

“Right, yes, of course, Gulliver.  Good lad.  You’ll keep me right, won’t you?  Let’s start again," the Former Baron turned on the spot and pointed in a random direction, "over here, I think.”

“Over there?  Good, well, let’s see what we ‘ave.”

The lanky pirate sauntered over to the pile of paper as casually as he could and then carefully began to sift through the sheets of parchment whilst the Former Baron looked on.  Most of it seemed like gibberish to Gulliver, who had never really understood even the basics of Hypostatick Philosophy and didn't intend to try learning now, but he showed each page to Von Spektr as he went and waited for the Former Baron's head to nod or shake.  It was a shake each time.

Gulliver moved over to the next pile and began the process again, with the Former Baron shaking his head at each page.  This happened three or four times, until Gulliver began to rummage more quickly through another pile, listening to rapid-fire 'No's falling from Von Spektr's lips when suddenly he shouted,  "Wait, stop, that's it, Gulliver my lad!  You've found it!"

The skeleton-thin Philosopher stooped down to the pile and plucked off the top sheet of paper, which, to Gulliver, was no more than a swirl of colours and symbols, as if someone had spilt a load of multicoloured ink over a wingdings puzzle.  "All it took was a fresh approach!  Thank you, Gulliver.  Now let's see, here."  He drew the fragment of parchment close to his nose and examined it, hmm-ing and ah-ing as he did so for a few minutes as Gulliver watched on, tense and uncertain.

"Oh my," the Former Baron said at last, "oh my, yes.  Yes this makes things quite clear.  I don't know how I didn't notice it to begin with."

"What is it?"  Gulliver asked, his voice suddenly hoarse.

"I'm afraid Doctor Gristfinkel is quite right.  Our Ellis is not what he appears to be."  He folded the piece of paper and carefully put it in his jacket pocket.  "Come then, we had best tell Siren."

Siren was staring anxiously at the door as the Former Baron and Gulliver stepped through it.  She listened in silence as the old man explained what they had discovered, showing the unusual details on Ellis' hypostatick energy readout which were indeed more than just the result of a trans-aetherick shift.  She took a deep breath, and rose to her feet, gently tapping away Miss Barkcastle's helping hands as she did so.

"So, Ellis is some kind of construct, then?"

"It seems so," the Former Baron replied sadly.

"But he's still unwell."

"Well, I have an idea what might be causing that, actually."

"Then we should go to him.  We can discuss all this later, but for now, no one must tell him what we know - not until we understand more about the situation - like who created him and for what purpose."

"I have my theories about that as well," Franck replied softly, "but you're right.  We'll discuss it later and Ellis must not know."

They both turned to look at Gulliver, who scratched his head and swallowed.  "I will be the very picture of discretion," he vowed, crossing his heart.

"Good," Franck said, "now let's sort out our boy."

Upstairs Doctor Gristfinkel was still examining the prone, feverish body of Ellis Graves.  He was stroking his chin and sighing as if the weight of the world were pressing down on him.  He liked a challenge, but sometimes they just tired him and it seemed that this was one of those occasions.  He just could not tell what was wrong with the boy.

He turned to look as the Former Baron Von Spektr, Siren, Gulliver and Miss Barkcastle entered the room, then let out another deep sigh.

"I can't work out what the blast is wrong with this boy," he said, letting all his frustration puff out and inflate his words, "and I'll be damned if I'm sticking around here all day to discover it.  I have other patients, you know."

"It's okay, Doctor," Franck replied soothingly, "I think I know what the problem is.  You were quite right, of course, about the boy's... shall we say... unique condition and I think that tells us the answer to his predicament also.  I believe that the poor chap is merely drained.  He needs more juice, so to speak!  He's been running low on hypostatick energy, so we need to... ah... recharge him."

"Are you quite mad?" Doctor Gristfinkel asked in all seriousness.  "Even if the boy is a construct you can't just recharge a living being like that - not without draining someone else in the process and if what you say is true - I don't deny there might be something in it - then it would take far more than is healthy for any individual!  As a medical practitioner I could not in good conscience advice such a course of action."

"Don't you worry about it Doctor.  You head on back to your practice and deal with all those other patients and we'll sort Ellis out right here by ourselves."

The Doctor let out a harrumph of dissatisfaction, then shrugged.  "Oh, so be it,  but I'm not coming back here if one of you is put in a coma!"

He quickly dumped all his equipment back into his capacious medical bag, gestured for everyone to move out of his way and then marched out of the room and out of the house.

"I never did like that man," Franck said into the ensuing silence, "now - let us solve this problem.  Gulliver, your amulet, please!"

Gulliver looked startled, glancing wide-eyed between the Former Baron, Ellis and the amulet with obvious puzzlement.  “But,” he began, stammering slightly, “what do you want that for?”

“We’ve already seen that that amulet possess an almost limitless reserve of hypostatick energy.  If we put it on Ellis is should recharge whatever he has lost and his fever will, I think, just disappear.”

“What if it doesn’t work?”  Gulliver asked, as if fearing dire repercussions for himself.

“Oh just take the stupid thing off and do as Franck says,” Siren snapped, before stepping back and biting her lip anxiously.  Gulliver obeyed instantly.

“Thank you,” the Former Baron replied.  He took the amulet, leaned over Ellis’ prone form on the bed and then draped the golden chain around the young man’s neck.  Finally he placed the medallion itself on Ellis’ chest and it started to glow as soon as it touched him.

The Former Baron took a step back and watched as the glow from the amulet began to suffuse into Ellis’ body, turning his pale, clammy skin into a brilliant, luminous vessel.  Ellis glowed like this for about half a minute and then the light began to recede back into the amulet where it flickered for a moment before going out.

“Did it work?” Siren asked.

Ellis’ skin was now a healthy shade, his breathing was regular and as the Former Baron reached out to test his forehead his eyes flickered, then opened.

“Ah, Ellingworth, how good of you to join us,” Von Spektr said as the young man looked up at his pale, weathered face.

“Uh,”  Ellis groaned before turning to see that everyone in the room was staring at him, “why is everyone here?”

“You was ill, Ellis,” Gulliver replied, “but the Doctor came and fixed you up and we was just watchin’ over you ‘til you woke, like.”

“Oh,” Ellis replied, “but I feel fine now.  It must have just been-” he caught sight of Siren watching him from behind the Former Baron and Gulliver, Miss Barkcastle’s arm around her shoulders.  “It must have been something I ate, I guess.”

“Well,” the Former Baron said resolutely, “now that you’re no longer feeling ill, perhaps we can all get back to work.  We have a pirate ship to recapture!”  And with that the old man vanished from the room, quickly followed by Miss Barkcastle and Gulliver.  Only Siren remained.

She took a step forward, gave a half smile and said, “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Ellis.  I’m sorry if my reaction last night made things worse.”  She closed her eyes heavily, as if restraining some thought, then sighed and said, “We’ll talk about it later, okay, but for now…” she took another step closer and kissed him, tentatively, on the forehead, “…I’m just glad you’re feeling better.”

And then she was gone and, as far as Ellis knew, he was the most confused man alive.

FIRST EPISODE

PREVIOUS EPISODE

NEXT EPISODE

FULL ARCHIVE